Sometimes, You Have to be “The First in the Family”
There is a scene from the film Hidden Figures (2016) that I have been thinking about a lot lately. It is the scene when Mary Jackson petitions for a chance to attend Hampton High School, an all-white school. She makes her case before the judge to attend an all-white school in segregated Virginia by emphasizing “the importance of being first.” She highlights some of the judge’s “firsts”: first in the family to serve in the navy, the first to attend college, etc. And she goes on to say that she plans to be an engineer at NASA and has “no choice but to be the first” Black woman in Virginia to attend an all-white school.
“I have no choice but to be the first.”
I am an only daughter of a Salvadorian immigrant mother who arrived in the United States at 16. My mom worked as a housekeeper in a predominately white neighborhood, where I would grow up for the first half of my life. I am my mother’s daughter. She did not get to experience a lot of the things privileges I had growing up, and so I have had many “firsts”: I am the first to graduate from elementary school. I am the first to graduate high school. I am the first to attend and graduate from university.
And then there are the “first in the family”...
I am the first in the family to be a photographer. I am the first in the family and the first female in the family to attend university. I am the first in the family to graduate with a bachelor's degree. I am the first in my family to work in the nonprofit sector.
The weight of being "first" is something that I have been contemplating a lot lately as I meet with family, especially when I see my young nieces, nephews, and little cousins. The generation behind me saw me become the "first" in many things. There may come a moment when they, too, will be the "first in the family." Will they need support navigating things that I did? I ponder about the role model I want to be in their lives, in our family. What type of elder do I want to become in my family? What kind of leader can I be for nieces, nephews, and little cousins?
Is this what it means to be leaders in our communities, workplaces, and families? When we find ourselves in situations where no one has taken the “leap” of bravery to do something or for someone, we have “no choice but to be the first.”
I witness participants entering our programs, ready to take the following steps in their lives and careers. For some, they will be the "first" to level up or start their leadership journeys. In spaces like LEAP, folks are encouraged to join a space of Asian and Pacific Islander leaders who could advocate and speak for their communities. Listening to the stories of each of our participants has been inspiring and motivating. When we finish a program, I am left awed and inspired by everyone who takes the initiative to want to do more for themselves and everyone they impact back home.
Watching LEAP's participants attend, and graduate from our programs inspires me to question more about my future. If I will be the first female in my family to take on a leadership position in a workplace. Will I be the first in the family to venture even farther and beyond their expectations? Will I be the first in the family to drive change in ways even I didn’t expect?
Right now, as Senior Program Coordinator, there is a lot of growth happening within my role and as an individual. So many people I have met through LEAP’s networks left a seed of inspiration where I want to grow alongside them. I wonder how many more “first in the family” I will experience on my leadership journey.
about the author
Eledy Vargas Gonzalez (she/hers)(It’s Melody but drop the “M”) is the Senior Program Coordinator for LEAP (Leadership Education for Asian Pacifics). Her responsibilities include creating programs/event timelines and action steps to ensure all steps of events are prepared, develop presentation materials for trainers and facilitators, and assist in administrative duties.