Leadership Development & Coalition Building Across Races
“The only way to survive is by taking care of one another.” - Grace Lee Boggs
My identity is in constant development. As a multi-racial person who spent most of my life in the midwest I regularly straddle the line between too much and not enough. I was constantly looking for someone I could relate to and always coming up short. Most of my life and experience in suburban Minnesota was spent feeling, and honestly, trying to be invisible.
I remember once my dad went to school conferences and one of my teachers told him that he didn’t remember who I was and that his not remembering me was a good thing because it meant that I didn’t cause trouble. When my dad came home and told me that, I think I internalized it more than I meant to. When I got to high school I watched my classmates and friends regularly building meaningful and impactful relationships with their teachers and I was just floating along trying not to be remembered. And at the time I don’t think I would’ve said I had bad relationships with my teachers, I just don’t think any of my teachers really saw themselves in me or wanted to invest in my development. I was a good student, but I was definitely different from my all white friend group.
It was in college that I found the first educator who really saw me, she became my mentor and my friend. It was the first time I felt like I could relate to someone. She is a Black woman and still my go-to when I have questions or need guidance. She brought me to conferences, gave me advice on how to structure my resume, encouraged me to identify however I wanted to, and gave me opportunities to teach alongside her.
When I decided that I wanted to become a public speaker in college, she connected me with another great friend and leader of hers. He is a nationally recognized speaker, and we would meet regularly to talk through the industry and where I could get started. He is also Black.
When I started my career in education, I was overwhelmed and underpaid. I was frustrated with the system but really thought the organization I was with was going to change the world. The mentor who helped ground me, and pushed me to see the nuance of all of the conflict that the education space holds is a Latinx man.
When I was working for the state, I was regularly frustrated with the pace of government spaces and often overwhelmed by all the rules and restrictions that often created higher barriers for the people who accessed or were trying to access our programs the most. The two women who guided me through it are white.
I share their races because I want to emphasize that these people invested in me even though I didn’t look like them, and I don’t know why they did that. I don’t know why they were interested in supporting and guiding me. I don’t know why they chose to hold space for me. I don’t know why they were motivated to maintain our relationship.
It could've been because they saw themselves in me outside of race, it could also be because as I furthered my career I started being more intentional about reaching out and looking for people who could be good sounding boards. I’m not sure what the answer is. But regardless, there are a couple lessons for me that are important. First, I’m endlessly grateful for those who have held space for me, for those who have guided me, and encouraged me, even when they didn’t fully understand who I was, where I was coming from, or where I was trying to go. And knowing that there will always be people who have my back is something I hold very dearly.
And second, I think it’s important for us, as leaders, to continue offering our guidance and mentorship to those around us, and while I’ve learned that it is easier to vibe with people who are like us, who we see ourselves in, who look like us and we should absolutely spend time supporting those people. It would be a waste of an opportunity if I didn’t take a moment to ask that as we all continue in our journey to also look for people who don’t look like us, who we don’t see ourselves in, and whose story we don’t fully understand or see. Not only because there are folks out there trying not to be remembered, but because those same folks are the ones who deserve to be.
In a place that I often felt invisible in, I feel so blessed to have been able to find people who mentored, encouraged, and guided me, who saw maybe not themselves, but something in me. And my biggest lesson from them is that we have to take care of each other, even if we have more differences than similarities, because that’s how we’re going to not only survive but thrive.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Akemi Mechtel (she/her) joins the LEAP team as the Assistant Director of Leadership Development, with nearly a decade’s worth of experience working across the non-profit and public sectors. After graduating from Augsburg University in Minneapolis, she started her career in education working as a tireless advocate for accessibility and equity in the classroom.
